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bones

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Jim knows where the door is that changes your body and he's been avoiding it but he accidentally pulled the wrong door looking for Risa and ended up in a petite blonde body instead of his own. Shit. And he's been trying to get his own body back, with no success, and he doesn't think he can avoid Bones any longer.

He sends Bones a message over the hotel network to come to his room and guesses he's going to just have to endure for a little while the same way Bones had when he suddenly got curvier for a week or so. He's probably going to get a hell of a laugh out of it, Bones, and Jim isn't looking forward to the I told you so.

The only thing he has that seems to fit are his sunglasses and one of his oxford shirts and he puts them on, figuring Bones isn't going to need much more than that. Jim sure isn't going anywhere looking like this anyway.

When Jim hears a knock on the door, he crosses over to let him in. "Don't laugh."

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Jim nods, but he's a little more breathless than he wants to be in this situation. God, he's already just beside himself with arousal and nothing's even happened yet.

"Yeah, let's do a little scientific exploration."

McCoy grins and eases back up from where he's brushing his lips against Jim's skin, standing up so he can slowly strip off his shirt, letting it trail from his fingertips to fall in a puddle on the ground. "I don't suppose you brought any kind of supplies with you?"

"Supplies? I brought me," Jim says, completely confused. There's nothing else but him that's necessary, is there?

"I'm not enough?"

"Condoms and lube, darling," McCoy provides, huffing out a laugh. "I've got some in the bathroom, but that means I need to get up and leave you," he points out, shaking his head fondly as he nuzzles another kiss to Jim's neck.

"Did you just pet name me because I have breasts right now?" Jim looks at Bones skeptically and then looks down at his new-formed body.

"And uh, you think we need the lube? Everything's changed up, right?"

"I call you darling all the time, maybe it just made it past my lips," McCoy argues, giving him a wary look. "I don't know about you, but I will always take more lubrication over less. Is this why I've had to give you so many lectures about chafing?"

"I'm just saying, I'm a woman right now. If you know what you're doing, you're not going to need the lube," Jim challenges back.

"I never have."

He bites back his comment about Jim needing a little extra care, but hell, maybe McCoy's just never had that lucky touch. "Brat," he mutters, and that's not a switch-specific name either, even though the sidelong look he shoots Jim is filled with familiar irritation.

"Got any requests?"

"Surprise me? I want to see just how good you are when the score has changed," Jim teases. He wriggles a bit, teasing and enticing him.

"You want protection?" is the only question he thinks he still needs to ask. He's not entirely sure how this place works, but seeing as he had to find a door, he doesn't want to rule out the worry that this could stick long enough for something to take so to speak.

"It's not like I'm going to be a girl forever, is it? I don't think I can get pregnant," Jim says skeptically. "So, no, let's just do it. No consequences."

McCoy raises a brow, half asking if Jim really thinks that's the case, because it's not like this place is any good at following other laws of the universe. "If you turn up pregnant in any form, I'm gonna say I told you so in about three languages," he says, but follows orders, slowly easing Jim's legs apart.

"And you're going to owe me child support," Jim snaps back.

"So I'm not really worried about it. Besides, you like kids, don't you?"

"Of course I do," he says, softening a little given his own situation with kids back home and him having only the most partial of custody. He leans down to try and kiss Jim out of more bickering, eager to put this one to rest. And if that doesn't work, the way he starts to slide those kisses down to collarbone and stomach should hopefully earn him a touch more leniency.

Jim is sure he's struck a nerve but he can't be bothered to care when Bones has his mouth going on a leisurely tour of all the new real estate he's got.

Jim threads a hand in his hair and tugs a little, showing his appreciation for Bones' particular creativity.

"You tug too hard, I'm going to start thinking you like it," he teases, working his lips down over those new, generous hips, enjoying the way Jim's skin feels under his hands as he lowers to the thighs, brushing a slow kiss there, just a touch. "You ready for more?"

"What makes you think I wouldn't like it anyway?" The argument dies in Jim's throat when Bones' lips go lower and Jim sort of hates the way that soft, aching sound comes out of his mouth.

"Do I act like I don't?" It's not as cocky as he wants.

He's starting to learn a whole lot more about Jim and McCoy's damn pleased, in these circumstances. He nudges one last loving kiss to the inside of Jim's thigh before pushing his (her, really) legs apart and starts to put his tongue to better work, a planned idea behind every lap and lick.

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